Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
