Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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