I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize