R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
