The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
