Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
