You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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