Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize