You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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