Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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