listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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