So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
