Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Rumble strips road head = magical
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
