Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
