I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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