I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
