i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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