and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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