Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize