So drunk its hurt
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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