either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
