carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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