dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
