the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
