I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
