I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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