Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
