Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
