You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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