we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
