Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
