Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
