Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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