at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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