is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
