I'm going to jail i love you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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