I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
