so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
