im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
