Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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