if only i could text you this smell
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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