He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
