THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
