Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
