I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
