every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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