making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
