It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
