For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize