everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
