Im at strip club and am horny
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
