So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
