i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I supernannyed him into submission
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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