I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
