It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize