You don't have asthma, your pregnant
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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