woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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