Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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