quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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