Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
