i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
