What a fucking waste of an outfit
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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