Dual....:-)
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
