Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
