what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
