no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize