i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
