My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
