Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
