omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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