oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
