Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
