Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
