mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
